Poetry
Bloodthirsty Mantras
On hearing the wistful words whispered in fear rain down like cool tears on my sun-seared mind to be caught in the blissful dance of delirium in here with my blistering thoughts, you saw all that you wished in me take form in the shape of history reborn, the thaw and escape of what ought to have stayed buried and leashed deep inside me.
You thought to hide me away from the dawn of false elation drawn in by growing impatience, though it's all I can know in the dark and vacant void of stark imagination.
This inert persuasion to avoid and condemn the creation and use of the sensationalist din of obtuse imitation becomes the slow and somber hymn that lulls me to roost in a deep silent slumber through years without number.
The iniquitous spawn of my warps in perception gaining impetus in cadence with the insurrection of an ego suppressed, spilling through the narrow girth of the birth canals stretched as born by sparrows in the flesh that's been torn and worn bare by a forlorn will to harrow the norms I’ll soon mourn with the setting sun as darkness spills on one more day among the collective of haughty objectives still undone.
You thought to take flight and hide me away from the light of the next day's sun. But you were too tired to run and face certain collision, and having too much fun absorbing the visions we spun, drug addled lungs breathing life into tomorrow's strife and deciphering meaning in the sorrow to come… so that despite the raw truth of old wisdom and bold foresight, the new day's light falls on a morbid exposition of every incision self-inflicted, producing a show of such comedic delusions that my wicked contusions are just a part of the joke.
Yet an unruly sinking fear descends across the newly thinking masses too broken inside to find a meaning in my loss. They watch unblinking as the curtains drop to reveal a stage with a furnace containing the life I dissected and buried when I found it carried infection.
My parasites feast before the vacant eyes of a lulled crowd. The chorus is loud to demand their toll and plead their bloodthirsty mantras, too pleased with the show to know the sullen parasites are vagrant once their meal is complete.
These words I hear, I once saw drawn in the sand at the dawn of my manhood, singing a warning song of rough seas ahead, and the breeze that will spread the once-dead disease to friends, believers in me and fruits born of my seeds, exposing the myths of wistful words whispered in fear with no one to hear.
Dying Thoes
Truth is upsetting
Self deceit wedding my former self with a version sought
With settling aversion to loss of my virgin thoughts
I construct a new costly abode sheltering me from this sweltering heat
Saving me neatly from a smoldering head full of dreadful foreboding
A pulsating home wrought of materials that ought never erode
An enclosure of myth manufactured in my fractured mind captured in time
This sanctuary of warm yet war-torn memories
The burden I love, for no gifts from above could ever enrapture me to this painful degree
Although I sometimes see the way, the price I’m forced to pay
Though willingly, is stealing my will, pulling me to my knees
Forcing me to play this terrifying game of shame, blame, and enforcing of pain
Endorsing the lame and coercing the greatness within us
To suffer the same grim fate that's steering what remains of my wearying brain
Is it too late to turn my back on this lack of conviction?
Is the addiction too strong?
Have bad habits gone too long to see a new dawn in my future and change what went wrong?
I gaze into the mirror longing to see but me looking back, the seer, the sage, growing wiser
Growing stronger of mind
But age is not kind; the mirror reflects the body I'm spending and the youth slowly dwindling
Into to past, that vast emptiness of everything we could have done and should have done
But what's done is done and my illusion is now shaken
Taken off of my pedestal I'm no longer safe to waste away gracefully with my eyes welded shut
No longer held in place by fear of disgrace I can only stand and withstand the fruits of my haste
Embrace the old man with the lonely reflection and no sense of direction
Blinding pain of my own creation has forced me to see
And my eyes have fallen upon a bleeding heart with nowhere to start
A heart exposed for but one to enclose and put an end to its dying throes
This Is Home
The pain is forgotten when I stare too long
Eyes burn, stomach churns, and still I fall
Inward, into that vast expanse of mind
No sign of land below, just this expansive glow
And still I know, this is home
All alone, my sins atoned, I fall
And still I know, this is home
Stared too long, and hoped too strongly
For the daydream I'm lost in
To one day soften these wicked scars
I lick my wounds, and taste the blood
My landing is soon
And still that voice beckons
Calls me forth to that distant place inside me
To put this madness behind me
Never alone, but often lost
I need only follow that voice
To find my way home
And here I am, gutted and ready to consume
My pain an open door
An open sore, for anyone to see and touch
I sacrifice my life, but it's not much
I wish only that I had more to give
More time to live
I cry once more for the days that are lost
And try once more to get my message across
Eyes and ears open, I can see through the haze
My gaze passes all around, perpetually amazed
At this vast expanse of mind
These layers of wisdom and thoughts intertwined
Lost in myself, but never alone
I know just where I am, and I know this is home
Angelic Prose
Angelic prose composed with ink on the stem of this dead rose
Gripping the thorns, adorning the page with the blood that is born
The more that I bleed, the more I see her image with vision blurred
And words become slurred, mind no longer sensing the things that occur
Alone in this room, my doom, holding this blackened bloom
Mind of the Ancient
You can't understand the words of a man
Who adopted this stance when you turned a glance
I hate to see the fall of me in you, but you knew
I've been here before, I've felt where you're sore
Tried to give you the tour, to show you there's more
But now you have to learn the lessons that incessantly curse my mind at its essence
My path was my own because I knew where to go
I knew what to learn, and knew how to earn it, while you begin to discern it
It has become my life, my pain, my wife
And no knife could ever cut this from the mind of the ancient
The mind we all comprise if you'd just open your eyes like I
Death Defying Words
Death defying words relying solely on the dying wish of a flying fish
A man renewed in a breath, who swam through depths of murky water
To live on land then air, beware, the air gets really thin up there
Back down to earth to find new birth, to walk among man and quench new thirsts
I hope the best, but this test is his to pass, he might best hope just to get some rest
And fast... we all fast, when our time is past